Plot Twist: In Which Gatsby Wants Us All To Take It Easy

Gatsby is fed up with our serious analysis and reflection.

Gatsby wants to share her holiday snaps!

You know how postcards always arrive really, really late, long after the traveler has returned home? Well, Gatsby wrote this postcard during her holiday, and I guess it has finally arrived.

Dear all,

This place is great! The sunpuddles are warm, treats in abundance and ohhh, did I mention the grass? It's fluffy and smelly with bugs and sticks! I've been digging as many holes as I can!
The locals are pretty friendly too.

Wish you were here.
xo Gatsby

~ THE END ~

Well, not really the end, of course. Even though she's back home now, I'm sure I'll be seeing more of Gatsby, and I'll be sure to share my adventures with you. But that's the end of her holiday, so new adventures await!

An Incident: In Which We All F*** Up, Sometimes

We are nearing the end of the Gatsby saga, but there's one incident that happened during her stay that I want to share with you all. Because I'd like to know what you guys think, and because the truth is -- we all f*** up sometimes.

About two-thirds into Gatsby's stay, I decided I was fed up with being scratched. I knew it was mainly due to how long her nails were, so I started looking for a groomer. I had no desire to try doing them myself because she's a nightmare to clip. In the past, we've resorted to both K and I working together and Gatsby ingesting a large amount of pawpaw ointment to get a few nails clipped. When I asked K she told me Gatsby could now be clipped by a groomer.

Can you believe this sweet face has been kicked out of two different groomers?

I have to admit -- part of my impatience to have her nails clipped was because I had company that evening and didn't want her scratching my guests in excitement.

Hey! Turn around!

I was hesitating because I didn't know if it would work; Gatsby is afraid of so many things. I didn't have a car to take her, either. While sitting on the issue, I woke up one morning to see a groomer's trailer outside my neighbour's. It was the mobile dog wash kind, obviously a franchise, but I went outside to check it out anyway. My neighbour had used this groomer before for her Golden Retriever and was very happy, and I couldn't watch the actual washing but was happy with the way he handled the Golden so I asked the groomer if he would clip my dog's nails. He asked a couple of questions and agreed easily.

It didn't work. Gatsby was afraid from the get-go. We sat together on the neighbour's front lawn, we tried with me using the clippers, we tried in my yard, we coaxed, bribed, and distracted with plenty of treats. We ended with me restraining Gatsby, groomer failing to muzzle her and Gatsby scratching him and drawing blood.

I felt terrible. I felt really guilty, and really stupid. Why? Because since day one I had been gradually and systematically exposing Gatsby to things she was afraid of. Our first walk she sniffed every single tree, bush and shrub along the way. I let her take her time. From the second or third walk onwards she actually walked. I learned to stop by the side of the road and wait while strangers approached, particularly if they were men or had dogs or children. Soon she waited calmly as they passed or even walked right past them without stopping rather than shy away. At the shops I asked strangers to give her treats. When my friend came to visit I asked her to wait in the hall for a while and toss Gatsby treats through the gate.

I felt this created more confident behaviour rather than the hit-and-miss approach that came of her people frequently thrusting her into many situations she wasn't comfortable with. This gradual approach worked well for both her and me, so I was still doing all of those things outside the house or when someone came to visit. I felt more in control of the situation and less likely to be pulled off the path or have her posturing at toddlers. She was doing very well, but we still had a lot of steps to go.

So I have no explanation for why I suddenly expected her to be okay with a) a stranger, b) who was male, c) who probably smelled like dogs and d) who came at her with clippers. Everything I've ever read told me otherwise, and it went against everything I believed in and the way I'd been working with her.

After the incident I was afraid Gatsby would regress a hundred steps and all my careful work would have been undone. I was afraid she would be more afraid than before of all of the aforementioned things, or even develop new fears. I was afraid she might be wary of me, even.

None of those things happened. She was still fine with strangers walking by as we calmly waited for them to pass. We found her lying at my visiting brother's feet under the table that evening. She absolutely, definitely loved and trusted me as much as before.

What's going on inside that little head?

The incident still triggered my depression and I spent the next day in bed. One thing that gave me some peace was when I told my mother about the incident a day later. She told me that this had happened, more than once, when I was a child. I was a fearful child with separation anxiety, and she tried to expose me to more things, like playdates and dance classes. Sometimes it went well, and sometimes it didn't. After the latter, she always felt terrible, and wondered if she'd done the right thing. But I bounced back, just like Gatsby did.

Has this ever happened to you?

Gatsby's Stay Continued: In Which We Are Told Of The Training That Happened

How do I cope with the desolate reality of not having a dog of my own?

Why, I borrow other people's dogs, of course!

There have been other dogs I appropriated as my own, but my biggest adventure was, of course, The Great Gatsby Project.

While she stayed with me, I walked the adorable 8kg doggie diva almost every day, and:

• She really grew in confidence. Initially she shied away from people and dogs approaching on walks (her scared ears, pulling me off the path), so when anyone approached I walked her off  the path and we waited until they had passed. Soon she no longer showed signs of fear when people approached. She happily led me past people once or twice without any issues, but I plan to keep stopping by the side of the road and waiting for a while yet, as she’s still bothered by larger groups of people, some dogs, etc.

• We visited the dog park probably every second walk. We didn't go in, but just spent some time outside the fence. If she led us too close and panicked, we retreated to a 'safe' distance. The aim was to work up to going in.

• I took her to the shops and she stayed by me while I ate a meal at an outdoor cafe, twice. Whenever strangers wanted to pat her I gave them high-value treats to give Gatsby to remind her that strangers can be a good thing. Gatsby was very, very good at the shops! 

With a canine companion, you never have to eat alone

• Our family all learnt to use the "Off!" command, and while she never gave up pawing at us, I think it lessened when she realised I was never, ever going to give her my dinner. She still whined when I left the room or when she was left alone for too long, but I tried to wait for a pause or a sit/down before I re-entered the room.

• I taught her "shake" (shake paws), which is pretty darn cute!

 
Needless to say, I enjoyed all of this, because I had a companion in my fluffy friend, because every bit of progress was thrilling, and because it was fun!

A Note: In Which The Realities of Life Interrupt Our Regular Storytime

Hey, readers.

Been a tad longer than usual since I last posted, but I have to say it might be a bit longer until I get back to regular posting. I'm going through a bit of a rough time right now.

The simplified version is that I lost my job. Now, it wasn't even paid work so it's not a financial issue for me (and in that I am fortunate), but it is another setback in my long struggle to overcome mental illness. I mention this because I admire bloggers who open discussion about real-life issues, such as health problems, tricky relationships or the difficult parts of having pets, and not only talk about when everything goes easy.

So if you are reading this, I'd love it if you took a moment to consider how difficult it can be for people with chronic mental illness to hold down jobs and keep relationships. I'm one of them, but chances are you know someone else who could be in the same boat. It can be easy to forget, when things are going our way.

* * *

On the dog front, Gatsby went home kind-of suddenly. Don't worry, she's well and so are her people, as far as I know -- more a change of travel plans. But I'm having some trouble coming to terms with a realisation: it's unlikely much of what I taught Gatsby will stick. And, friends, I taught her a lot. That part of the story will be told later, but while I (and my family) were enjoying having her around, I was also reveling in teaching, training and socialising her to the world outside her home. Now Gatsby's back home where I honestly expect it's straight back to being spoilt rotten, to what I believe is her detriment.

On the other hand, this stay has showed me that she really can survive without her one person -- happily and healthily, in fact. She wasn't overly anxious and made leaps and bounds in confidence in the outside world. I'm very happy for Gatsby, of course, but I certainly have mixed feelings. It raises questions about whether fostering (animals) would be a good option for me, with my love of training and watching others learn; or whether my decision not to pursue a teaching career (humans) is reinforced. I certainly respect teachers who do their job every day, not knowing how much of what they taught will ever be retained outside of the classroom.

Closer to home, knowing now how well Gatsby can do makes me feel like my goal of a comfortable, well-adjusted dog is so close, yet so far. I can't expect K and her family to change according to my beliefs, but I'm sure I'll see Gatsby again. She followed my house rules because I was consistent. Do you think she'll still treat me the same way after going home? Will her people see an improvement in her behaviour despite how they treat her?

I have been feeling much better the past couple of days, so this post might actually get the posting ball rolling again. No promises, but I know you'll understand if I'm not up to it yet.

Gatsby's Stay: In Which Melon Learns That Tiring The Dog Out Has Unexpected Consequences

As you can imagine, having Gatsby here has kept me pretty busy. Since she's so demanding (she whines when I leave the room and bashes doors when left alone, and paws at me when I'm working), I've been giving her good long walks and socialisation sessions, as I have truly learnt the truth of

a tired dog is a good dog.

(With thanks to the wise Hu-Dad of The Thundering Herd!)

I've discovered Gatsby really will be tired and rest from the early evening onwards if I take her for a walk. She runs and chases to her heart's content in my backyard, but it's the walks (and exposure to the big, unfamiliar and ever-changing world, I'd imagine) that tire her out. Unfortunately... waking up early when she does, taking long walks every day while constantly correcting her leash manners and monitoring her reactions to people, dogs and everything else in our world... tires me out too. So instead of sitting down to my blog in the evenings, I find myself dropping off about the time she does... so more from me a bit later!

Gatsby is here!

Since I’ve been MIA recently, you’ve probably guessed that the time has come… Gatsby is here! As in, living with me, 24/7, for the next few weeks. So far it’s pretty much been a holiday for her, and I’m hoping to keep it this way.

I’ll be busy for sure, but I’ll be posting a few book reviews, and a couple short updates on our adventures.

She LOVES my yard – it's her paradise. She doesn't have lawn at home, so she especially loves grass, and for a dog so people-focused, I don’t think she would've coped at all without the very enticing yard full of smells and sounds. I’ve totally let the yard go, so it’s got plenty of fun stuff for her.

She runs around, leaping and chasing invisible objects, digging holes and chewing on sticks.

 
She even has her own sanctioned digging spot, guarded diligently by Mr Froggy.

Sometimes she even finds treasure there!

The Trial Run: Who Tells It Like It Is, Melon or Gatsby?

Very observant readers will be able to guess why I’ve been too busy to post this week, but before we get into that chapter of the story I should tell you first about Gatsby’s Trial Run!

I’ll cut to the chase: It went really, really, well. Better, in fact, that any of us – K and I for sure – could ever have dreamed. (The lovely Kirsten of peacefuldog can testify that I was expecting absolute drama, and has a desperate email plea for advice to prove it!)

Gatsby stayed calm. Because of this, we humans could relax and enjoy the experience.

This photo was taken from inside the house. Velcro dog outside? Check. Human inside? Check. Pigs flying? Check.

I admit I kind of still can't believe Gatsby spent a whole 24 hours away from home without any meltdowns from either four- or two- leggers, but upon reflection I can credit its success to 2 factors:

1. Purely by chance, K’s brother dropped Gatsby off. This meant that Gatsby didn’t have to endure K – her one, her only, the light of her life, blah blah blah bark bark bark whine whine –  bringing her somewhere and abandoning her to the oh so cold, empty world beyond and we didn’t have to endure the inevitable whining and carry-on! So she was calm (by Gatsby's standards, anyway) to begin with.


2. I was super organised and arranged all the details before she arrived. I’m not saying this to toot my own horn, but to have a record here of things that can help me in future, and maybe help you guys too!

Now, which things are we talking about? Well, let's do an analysis.

• She was calm.

Getting my white fur as brown as possible is hard work!

My explanation: I took her out walking and playing for a good 3 hours as soon as she arrived before I deemed it safe to return home.

Gatsby's explanation: Walk! Park! Mud! Yawn.

•  Gatsby didn’t have one accident in my house.

My explanation: I treated her like a puppy and took her out after every meal, as soon as we got up, right before bed, etc.

Gatsby’s explanation: Doing business in the house like an uncivilised human? Gross!

(K: And my house, where you live, and pee on the floor all the time, is what – the street?)

• She didn’t destroy a single unsanctioned item.

My explanation: I did some thorough de-cluttering to our totally un-dog-proof house to keep everything destroyable out of reach.

Gatsby’s explanation: Destroy things? But I like it here.

The gate stops Gatsby from disappearing into the clutter, never to be seen again

• Gatsby didn’t end up anywhere she wasn’t supposed to be.

My explanation: I bought second-hand baby gates and installed them to block off the kitchen and two carpeted areas.

Gatsby: Ha. I didn’t even try to walk through them! After all… why would I move away from my water, bed, and most of all... my people? ♥
 

Training Day 5: In Which All Is Quiet, If Somewhat Confusing, on the Home Front

It was raining outside again. While I didn't mind that Gatsby resembled a swamp monster when she emerged from mud puddles, I figured it was probably easier not to mind if you didn't live within smelling distance, and so refrained from taking her to the park, despite how fulfilling it had been last time.

Ah, well. I was sure there'd be some human-canine bonding activity we could do in the house. K had gone out to an appointment, so I settled down to do some work in the study.

I couldn't concentrate, though, because there was some rattling and howling going on just across the hallway.

Well, then. Training Day 5: House Manners.

I sat down cross-legged on the other side of the gate, and clicked and treated Gatsby when she finally quietened down and stopped rattling the gate. She bounced up again, rattled the gate, and since there was no response, put four back on the floor. Click. 

Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat.

Soon I was rewarding her for Downs through the gate.

After a while I always wonder if she's getting it or not. Is she back-chaining already (purposely jumping up and back down to 'earn' a treat)? Does she have any idea I'm telling her something at all? I have no idea, so I take a break.

I go in and out for a bit, having lunch, returning to the desk, but later, working in the study with K's brother, I see Gatsby lying quietly by the gate. Not in a Down, just lounging there quietly. Looks good to me.

Does she usually stay there quietly? I asked K's brother.
He replied that she did, but when K got home later and joined us in the study she commented on Gatsby's calm behaviour.

She never just hangs out there quietly, K said.
Really? Your brother said she did.
Well, never when I'm in here, anyway, she clarified.
 
It sure is hard to make sense of humans too, sometimes.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll have a lot more to report when I can work with her consistently on her 'holiday' -- which is coming up sooner I'd expected!

Training Day 4: In Which We Discover Why Smelling Like A Swamp Means Everything is Awesome

So I just have to share this photo first:

This photo sums up Training Day 4: Gatsby got filthy, we had an awesome time, and I have absolutely no regrets!

The long version? Well, let me see.

Our plan for this session had been for me to take Gatsby to the park alone. This was because K had discovered that after her brother started taking Gatsby to the park by himself, Gatsby actually started noticing and even getting excited when he arrived home. So I was going to do the same. But since I didn't yet remember where the park was, Gatsby and I ended up walking directly behind K and her friend to the park.

When we arrived, the fenced dog area was completely empty! Perfect. I took Gatsby inside and K and her friend went to a tree at the edge of the park to meditate.

I bet you can guess what happened next, right?

What I could see was K and her friend at some distance settled down on a mat opposite each other, talking.

What Gatsby could see was that she was on this side of the fence, and K was on the other side, walking away!

She always reminds me of Lightning of The OP Pack in this photo

What I could hear was Gatsby barking and whining.

What I could feel was her pulling at the leash, wanting to go to K.

I admit at this point I felt frustrated again.*

Great. What can I do if my friend is so disorganised that we can't stick to the original plan of my taking her out of the boring house to the fun park by myself? Instead, all Gatsby thinks is that K's taken her out and abandoned her!

Fortunately - in a manner of speaking - Gatsby's barking got loud enough that K heard her, looked up, saw Gatsby still on the end of the leash, and called, Has she been there the whole time?

I replied in the affirmative.
Should we go out of sight?
I replied, fervently, in the affirmative.
To her credit, K did so immediately, calling, Sorry! I should have realised!

Once K was out of eyeline Gatsby listened to me so I could unleash her, take a deep breath and focus on the task at hand.

There was a bit of wondering what her human was up to while she was here...

... but to my joy it soon turned into running and jumping...

And, of course, taking advantage of all the delights the dog park has to offer.

I had relaxed my eagle-eye watch a little on the usually fearful Gatsby as she was so calm, either ignoring or showing only polite interest in the other dogs that arrived. Not to mention the toddler whose mum had cleverly placed into the double gate area, allowing kiddo to enjoy her outdoor playpen while her elderly little shih tzu mix sniffed and wandered the grass. Gatsby usually barks ferociously at toddlers, but this time was completely unfazed, standing quietly on her side of the fence. So when I turned around from chatting with the mum (who we'd met last time when we discovered the park) to find Gatsby enjoying the giant mud puddle leftover from a weekend of rain, I laughed and let her be.

She only showed her teeth once, late in the afternoon when playfully cornered by three or four dogs led by a staffy puppy (think: boisterous and all puppy), which reminded me that I'd been there for a couple hours and Gatsby must be tired! So I called her to me (she came), asked her for a few tricks so I could reward her, leashed her up and took her home.

I was so pleased and proud of Gatsby, and told her so as we walked back. She walked back totally differently from before - with the leash loose, not charging ahead. I don't know if it was because she was tired rather than rearing to get to the park, or whether it was because K wasn't there for her to constantly chase to make sure she didn't leave her.

But I was made even happier by the fact that I managed to towel and brush her down with her completely relaxed and enjoying it - I guess I finally get why people say if your pet enjoys being brushed it can be a bonding experience.

I guess it also helps if your dog can turn white again with one brush

And like I told K, today I really did like Gatsby - when she could enjoy life and was willing to learn, she was easy to like. So even though I'm told Gatsby still smells like a swamp, I don't care one little bit.


* (After the frustrating session on Day 2, I had written a long and thorough email entitled 'Time to get hard-arse!' to K explaining that I liked her but not necessarily her dog, because Gatsby's bad behaviour got in the way of my getting to know the good parts of her personality. And that if K wanted others to appreciate her dog and her company while with her heart dog, she would have to work with me and most importantly, Gatsby! K thought the email was insightful and agreed.)

Training Day 3: In Which Melon Learns a Lesson and Makes A Discovery

Training Day 3 involved one lesson and one discovery.

K wanted to practice the back and forth recalls outdoors, and I wholeheartedly agreed because somehow, I had a suspicion that last time Gatsby was more bored out behind her house than anything else. I guess usually that doesn't mean introduce more distractions but try more interesting training games, but it's hard to teach more advanced things when the dog doesn't know the basics, y'know?

Anyway, that's my long-winded way of saying we went for a walk in the nearby park...

 

... which is where I learnt my lesson of the day: the value of life rewards. To get to the off-leash area, we walked through another grassy section. Gatsby knows the park and when we reached the gate to the other area, Gatsby was rearing to go in.

I held onto her leash and told her to sit. She wouldn't, too excited to go in. I waited and asked her a couple more times, and she sat. This is where I messed up - I clicked and rewarded her with a treat. I can't remember if she took it or not - maybe not - but she jumped right back up and I let her go in.

I realised almost straight away what had happened: she had no interest in what I was asking her because she couldn't understand why the human would want to do that weird sit-treat exercise at such a time when there were better things to do! Asking her to sit before going through the gate was right, but the reward for sitting and waiting should have been to go through the gate to playtimes and freedom.

I'd read about life rewards but never really understood how the dog would make the connection between their good behaviour and 'being allowed to' do something, since we can't explain it to them in words (unlike 'you do the dishes, young man, and then you can play on the Playstation'). I thought a treat was a more instantaneous reward. But this was an example where it makes sense to me, so now I'll pay more attention to when I can use life rewards more - particularly because Gatsby isn't particularly food-motivated.

We practised recalls on an empty sports oval, which went pretty well. We let her muck around and play and once in a while one of us would call her to us. This seemed to get around her idea of 'that game where I run back and forth from K to Melon and they alternately give me treats'. Gosh, it takes so much thinking to outsmart a dog, doesn't it?

By the time the second or third group of folks and their dogs had passed us, K and I started to wonder where they were going. We decided to head in that direction...

... and discovered - a fenced dog park! Yayy! It's fairly new so possibly not many people visit it, so in all this time, K hadn't known it was there. Now you know where we'll explore next!

Training Day 2: In Which What Goes Up Always Comes Down

Did you bring the clicker? Did you bring the clicker? K asked as I arrived for our second day of training.
Yes, I brought the clicker. She hadn't let me leave it with her last time because while I had explained the theory behind it and how it is used, everyone in her family were prone to fiddling and she knew anyone who walked past the table (including herself, apparently) would start clicking it indescriminately.
I took it home.

Fortunately, Gatsby was still aware of what the clicker meant...

With that, I took her out back again. Since she responded to the clicker, I was hoping to teach her to respond to her name - to look at me when she heard it. This was actually surprisingly difficult. I've noticed K loves to chant her name in a cutesy voice while she plays with her 'Gechhbi, Gechhbi', so I wondered if she was desensitised to her name. I tried adding 'hey!' as a 'look at me', but with no avail. I just sounded silly saying 'hey!' in an excited voice over and over. 

Hmm. Maybe forget that step and go straight to my first goal: recall. Maybe once she knows good things come from me she'll pay more attention to me. 

This didn't go so well either. K came out and found me struggling, and as I pointed out Gatsby didn't seem so keen on the ham bits this time either, we crushed up some lamb... something or other. I forget what they are exactly, but they come in big dry crunchy pieces in a package from Petbarn. That got her interest for a bit longer, although they can be hard to break into small enough pieces.

K and I called her back and forth across the very small area, treating her when she came to us. She did start coming to us fairly reliably, but - 

Do you think she's just playing us for treats? I asked K. Running back and forth? 

Probably, K replied.

I stopped calling. Sure enough, she'd look over after taking K's treat, knowing it was the other person's turn to treat. Hmm.

I'll play with her, K said, grabbing a rope toy. K was worried Gatsby would get too worked up with the toy (she's possessive), which is why K doesn't usually use toys to play with her, but I thought it was a good opportunity to test the recall. Nope, she wouldn't come to me when the toy was involved.

Well, I had somewhere to be after that so I couldn't stick around any longer, but wanting to end on a good note I opened the door, went inside and called Gatsby in after me. No matter what I did, no matter how excited I sounded or how many treats I waved, Gatsby wouldn't come in.

I looked at K.

We only call her in when we're finished outside, she said.

Oh man.

Feeling discouraged, I shut the door, leaving Gatsby in the yard, and asked K to drive me to the station. As I was gathering my things Gatsby started pawing at the closed door and K automatically opened it for her.

Do you realise what you just did?

K looked at me... oh, right! Whoops. I honestly didn't realise, it's habit now.

Sigh.

I was frustrated at myself for not being sterner with my friend, because at the beginning of a session I'm always pumped and sure we'll make progress, and then at the end when I'm exhausted I'm frustrated at her for not being more disciplined and frustrated at myself for not being more assertive and clearer with my message. Fortunately I did my best to voice my opinions to K before I got out of the car, and I think she is, slowly, realising and taking it on board. I made a mental note to send her a clear email before I saw her again, and reminded myself to be thankful that she was getting involved - when she sat down on the stoop to join in with recalls it was a clear sign she knew we were in this together, she wasn't leaving me out the back to work with her dog. Not every day will be a success, I know. But we'll rest up and be at it again the next day.